Dying to Self?
I grew up hearing that, in order to be a good Christian, I had to “die to self.” Sadly, the true meaning of this expression was never properly explained. As a vivacious Latina, denying myself seemed like God expected me to undergo a “personality dialysis” before He could love and accept me. How disheartening is that? Thank goodness, that’s NOT what it actually means! Dying to self isn’t about conforming into identical copies (as if God would snip away our uniqueness and quirks with a cookie cutter). Quite the opposite, in fact! It’s a process of shedding tendencies and toxic patterns that hinder our growth. We relinquish being a mere grain (pleasing others, drowning in shame and self-hatred, playing small to avoid intimidating others) so that we can bear fruit. If you think this sounds “too easy,” try these on for size: 1. Setting boundaries against toxic and abusive behaviour; 2. Saying “NO” when exhaustion calls for rest; or 3. Disappointing other peoples’ expectations to stay true to your calling. Feels like a death sentence, right? Well, it is! When you do the hard work of healing, you are dying to your old self and making room for a freer, more authentic version of you. (And, for the records, God loves you every step of the way. His love does NOT depend on your performance. You have intrinsic value).
Dying to self does NOT mean…
Staying in abusive relationships.
Sacrificing your health.
Letting colleagues take advantage.
Or playing small.
It means dying to toxic patterns of behaviour that prevent you from growing.
it means dying to performing and people pleasing to gain approval.
It means healing and doing the hard work of becoming authentic.
We please God when we become more (not less) alive.
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Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash.
